a letter to joni mitchell, vanity, and a list

dear joni mitchell,

although your music and lyrics are incredibly haunting and poignant, i wish you hadn't smoked so much.

love,
jen

p.s. sometimes you make me cry. in the good way.

1 peter 1:7

it's been a rough week. 


recently i had a tough realization about my life. i'm young still, but despite all the blessings i've received, there is little i can say for my 24 years. yes, i got married, i graduated from college... twice. i wrote some songs. i volunteer at church. i try and make a difference in the lives of the people i work with. yet, i'm not doing what i love, what makes me happy. i have made few decisions about my own life. 


we all know the following two things:
1. God has an intense and unmistakable sense of humor.  
2. Faith produces endurance.


some circumstances at work have changed and not in a good way. i have been put in a very difficult situation and am stuck, pretty much. my only option is to leave. these circumstances presented themselves immediately after i found this handy little ditty by mr. charles spurgeon. funny. very funny, God. 

"1 Peter 1:7
The trial of your faith.

Faith untried may be true faith, but it is sure to be little faith, and it is likely to remain dwarfish so long as it is without trials. Faith never prospers so well as when all things are against her: tempests are her trainers, and lightnings are her illuminators. When a calm reigns on the sea, spread the sails as you will, the ship moves not to its harbour; for on a slumbering ocean the keel sleeps too. Let the winds rush howling forth, and let the waters lift up themselves, then, though the vessel may rock, and her deck may be washed with waves, and her mast may creak under the pressure of the full and swelling sail, it is then that she makes headway towards her desired haven. No flowers wear so lovely a blue as those which grow at the foot of the frozen glacier; no stars gleam so brightly as those which glisten in the polar sky; no water tastes so sweet as that which springs amid the desert sand; and no faith is so precious as that which lives and triumphs in adversity. Tried faith brings experience. You could not have believed your own weakness had you not been compelled to pass through the rivers; and you would never have known God's strength had you not been supported amid the water-floods. Faith increases in solidity, assurance, and intensity, the more it is exercised with tribulation. Faith is precious, and its trial is precious too. Let not this, however, discourage those who are young in faith. You will have trials enough without seeking them: the full portion will be measured out to you in due season. Meanwhile, if you cannot yet claim the result of long experience, thank God for what grace you have; praise Him for that degree of holy confidence whereunto you have attained: walk according to that rule, and you shall yet have more and more of the blessing of God, till your faith shall remove mountains and conquer impossibilities."

i am broken, WE are broken and lacking and imperfect. my imperfections and lacking helps me see God's power and that without my faith in his ability to scoop me out of the raging rivers i would have drowned before even a toe touched the water. i neglect to realize how my lack of faith fails to glorify Him, and the whole point of all of this is to reflect the glory to the Father.

although this situation is a major thorn in my thumb, it should immediately redirect my focus from how hard things might be for a while to how glorifying this is going to be for Him when i rely on Him. touche.

very funny and touche.


on another note, my funny and wonderful husband wrote me a poem. it goes as follows:
Thank you God! Thank you Jesus!
For giving me a wife that's sweeter than peaches!
She's beautiful and fun,
Quite smart, not dumb.
So that you God and THANK YOU JESUS!

lovelovelove

hungry

Jeff & started the Fat Smash Diet this week. It was put together by Dr. Ian Smith (or something) who was the nutritionist on Celebrity Fit Club. It is a detox diet that is pretty intense and is based on several phases. The first phase, which we are currently in the midst of, is 9 days and we are only allowed to eat fruits, vegetables, 1 cup of brown rice & 2 egg whites per day, and that's it. It's hard. I just really want some cheese and a piece of bread. Peanut butter sounds great too. 

I cannot believe that we are already in November. Thanksgiving is in three weeks. I feel like my life is flying by. I've been married for almost four months and I feel like I can't remember much of it. How crappy is that?

I had lots of stuff to say this afternoon and forgot my password to this thing and now I've forgotten it all.

I'm going to try a new recipe for a three-bean soup. I'll let you know how it goes.

everyone else i know...

"all our friends have a blog & we don't get to see our friends as often as we'd like..."

this is how i rationalize getting a blog. really, i'm a good writer plus jeff & i have lots to say about lots. if you know my husband you know this to be the truth. jeff tells the most elaborate stories you will ever hear. ever.

here is to funny stories, honest confession, and sarcastic quips...