an honest look at what i'm saying, or what's being said

i search in things temporary. i try and find myself in somebody better than me. but the only thing i get from wanting is empty.

 because you are the only way i can know true life. you are the only way i can be truly, endlessly loved.

 i don't know what i have been looking for all this time but it's wasted so much of my life; trying to fit in the mold and make myself someone i'm not. 

because you are the only way i can know true life. you are the only way i can be truly, endlessly loved. 

take me apart and make me new, 'cause the only life i have, is the life i have in you. and i can't go on living in all the shadows. 

you are the only way i can know true life. you are the only way i can be truly, endlessly loved. there is no greater, there is no other, there is no greater love. 

--endlessly, jennifer (then) davis

copyright 2007

I was once told by an excellent source of wisdom in the music industry that in order to be a better songwriter than all the others out there and to be a successful artist, it was important to write less simply by inspiration and more by discipline. It's true. It takes a lot to be inspired for anything. If we only worked when we were inspired to (for those of us who aren't daily inspired to schedule hair appointments, grade papers, update databases, etc.) how could we afford to pay bills?

Don't get me wrong, it's important to be inspired. I think we overlook so many inspiring things. We aren't inspired by the way the trees dance in the breeze, the way the moon hangs in the sky, and of course the giant North Texas squirrels (seriously, there's got to be some sort of genetic anomaly with the squirrels up here!).  We are so concerned with other things that we overlook things that God designed to be noticed and to praise Him for.

The heavens are telling of the glory of God; And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands. Day to day pours forth speech, And night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words; Their voice is not heard. Their voice has gone out through all the earth, And their words to the end of the world. In them He has placed a tent for the sun, Which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber, and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy.  --Psalm 19:1-6 ESV

 I try a lot to write because I should even if something didn't flip my song-writing switch. I wrote the song above in my attempt to write regardless of being inspired.What ended up happening? I was inspired by what I wrote. How impressive is that? Rather, how impressive is God? He uses my gift and even my lack of inspiration to speak to ME. What the song says is another post but I forget sometimes that my gift first was meant for Him, but that he also meant it for me. 

Isn't that how faith is? We don't always find it easy to have faith, it's not easy to trust in the Lord. But we should. If we TRY to have faith, if we struggle through our unbelief and doubt we eventually make it to the other side where we see the reward of our faithfulness. We forget that he uses our pain, loss, whatever FIRST for his glory that we come out of it making the most of HIS name, but also for us that we remember that his faithfulness is never ending. And that in a world penetrated with doubt, suffering, and emptiness He is the only thing we can rely on and trust in. 

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.   --James 1:2-4

And how good does it feel to come out on the other side of a tough situation? SO GOOD! 

Just a thought. 

That wasn't originally what I was going to write about but it was good. Good for me. A good reminder for myself. 

I think it's time for another list. I haven't made a good, fun list in a while. And in lieu of this new year, let me whip up a good 'new year' list for you. Just for you. :)

EXCITING THINGS THAT OCCURRED IN 2009:

1. Jeff and I got engaged.

2. Jeff and I got married. 

3. The Irwins, Jacobsons, and Hendersons got married. 

4. The Janis' found out they're having a baby! 

5. I met and fell in love with the Jarrells.

6. We started singing (a part of) one of my songs at The Village.

6. The last batch of my friends got engaged. 

Well, I thought that list was going to be a little bit more consolidated. I had to stop because I could feel it continuing for quite some time. I guess I could have said,  "1. More than half of my friends got married". That would consolidated a little bit. 

A NEW YEAR FOR NEW THINGS:

this year I would like to...

1. Try a bunch of new recipes. I'll even share the experience with you. 

I love to cook (this I just truly learned) and would love to be a phenomenal one. I'm good. 

I just want to be better than Rachael Ray. or Giada de Laurentiis. 

2. Have a girl's night at least once a month. 

I am a-ok with being around boys all the time; one of the advantages of growing up with only boys.

I just miss my girls. I vow to call you guys more. Please call me, too. 

3. Read at least 1 classic lit novel that I haven't yet. 

I may have to go through Leslie's collection in order to successfully complete this. 

Classic Literature is the best and seemingly only good source of good literature these days. 

4. Plan more surprise dates for my husband. 

He is an EXCELLENT sport in allowing us to do things that appeal more to my tastes and interests. 

I should return the favor more often. 

5. I am going to push, push, push to do what I love. 

The only thing cheating me out of enjoying my life is me and allowing the spirit of fear to inhibit me.

I will continue this list as days pass. I guarantee that there are tons of other things I want to do and try. My eyes are just starting to hurt from staring at a computer screen. :) 

happy 2010. i love you. we love you. 

the end.